Christian divorce rates in the UK are skyrocketing at 42 percent, which is actually higher than secular couples, and the Bible has been sitting there with marriage solutions that most churches completely ignore.
The biggest problem is Christians are treating marriage like a Disney movie instead of what the Bible actually says it is. Paul literally warns in First Corinthians that marriage brings trouble in this present world, but pastors are out here promising happily ever after if you just pray hard enough. Reality hits, and couples think they married the wrong person when actually they just weren't prepared for real marriage.
Here's what blew my mind studying this. The Bible never once says, "Marry your best friend or find your soulmate."" That's Hollywood garbage that's destroying Christian marriages. Biblical marriage is about covenant commitment, not feelings. When couples divorced because they weren't in love anymore. The Bible would laugh at that excuse.
Ephesians 5 gets butchered in every wedding I've been to. Everyone focuses on wives submit to husbands but completely skips that husbands are called to love like Christ loved the church. That means dying for your wife daily, putting her needs above yours, and serving her constantly. Most Christian men want submission without sacrifice and wonder why their marriages implode. People say find your soulmate and perfect person. However, the Bible never says that. What it actually teaches is that marriage is work, sacrifice, and choosing to love someone even when they leave dishes in the sink for the third day straight.
The forgiveness part is where churches fail miserably. Matthew 18 gives us the exact process for dealing with conflict, but Christian couples either sweep everything under the rug or go nuclear immediately. Jesus said forgive seventy times seven, which isn't math. It's saying forgiveness never stops.
First Corinthians 7 is revolutionary for struggling marriages. Paul says if you're married, stay married, period. But he also gives practical advice about not depriving each other physically and emotionally. Christian couples ignore the intimacy commands and then act shocked when affairs happen. The Bible is way more realistic about sexual needs than most churches admit. The Bible presents sex as a mutual gift and responsibility, not something dirty that suddenly becomes holy after a wedding ceremony.
Proverbs is packed with marriage wisdom that could save relationships. It is better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. That's not being mean to women. That's saying constant fighting will destroy your home. The Bible acknowledges that some people are difficult. The love chapter in the bible everyone reads at weddings actually describes how to handle conflict. Love is patient during arguments, kind when your spouse is being difficult and doesn't keep score of wrongs. These are not romantic feelings, they are choices you make when someone leaves toothpaste all over the bathroom counter. Shalom!